Skin
by ArwenLalaith
Summary: Twenty-one year old JJ has nothing to her name but her infant son and her tattoo machine and she just spent her last hundred dollars on a bus ticket to DC, in search of an apprenticeship, when she finds herself on the doorstep of Emily Prentiss' tattoo parlour.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **Okay, so I've taken some liberties with the process of a tattoo apprenticeship, so if you're an industry pro, don't judge me too hard. Also, the timeline may get kind of confusing down the line because I can't plan for shit. So, just note that this story takes place over almost a year.**

* * *

JJ walked into the small tattoo parlour with Henry balanced on her hip feeling awkward and about eighty percent sure she wasn't going to get this job.

The feeling only intensified when the large black man sitting behind the reception desk with his feet up on the counter glanced up at her from his sketching and said, "You gotta be eighteen to get a tattoo."

"I...umm... I'm twenty-one," JJ corrected. "And I'm not here for a tattoo, I'm here about the apprenticeship opening."

The man's eyebrows leapt up his forehead in surprise and he gave her another once-over, that seemed to do nothing for his skepticism. He scooted his chair across the floor and yelled to the far corner of the studio, "Yo, Em!"

JJ audibly gasped as the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen emerged from the back. She introduced herself as Emily Prentiss, the owner of the tattoo parlour and offered her hand to shake and it took JJ several moments before she had the wherewithal to respond.

"Jennifer," she finally responded dumbly. "You can call me JJ. I'm here about the job opening?"

Emily too seemed surprised by that, but she hid it much better. She pulled her glasses off their precarious spot on the end of her nose. "Alright, show me what you can do. Tattoo me."

"Wh-what?" JJ sputtered, surprised. "R-right now?" She waved her portfolio around helplessly. "But..." she said lamely.

Emily grabbed the portfolio from her hand and gave it the barest of flip-throughs before snapping it shut. "Do you have your machine with you?"

"Yeah, I do, but I mean...I've got Henry with me, so maybe we could..." she tried to explain.

"I'll hold him," Emily immediately suggested, reaching for the baby and making a silly face at the small boy.

JJ didn't have any argument for that, so she shrugged and nodded.

Emily lead her to a bed in the back and pulled the curtain. "I've got some space on the front of my thigh. Just show me whatever you do best." She then proceeded to take off her jeans, leaving her standing there in a pair of lacey black panties.

"Oh, okay..." She was suddenly blank as to what that might be, determinedly looking anywhere but at Emily. She hadn't expected to actually tattoo today – certainly not tattoo her (smoking hot) potential boss – and her hands were shaky as they set up her machine, hoping Emily wouldn't notice and change her mind.

"What's this little guy's name?"

JJ glanced up from her work to see Henry curiously studying the tattoo in the middle of Emily's forehead. JJ had never even met someone with a face tattoo. Back home in small-town Pennsylvania, the only context most people had for face tattoos was people with teardrop tattoos on prison shows. "That's Henry," she said when she realized she too was staring.

"Well, hello, Henry," Emily said to the baby. "Are you going to grow up to be an artist like Mommy?"

JJ gave an unladylike snort. "He's going to Yale."

"Yale? Your Mommy's gonna have to do a _lot_ of tattoos to send you to Yale, buddy."

JJ went through the process of putting on the stencil, pouring out inks, and getting all the little details like lighting right before she was finally able to start her work. Emily looked like she expected Henry to start crying once the machine started buzzing, but was impressed when he didn't bat an eye. JJ had spent most of her time practicing with Henry strapped to her, so he was as much of an old pro at this as she was.

"Have you been tattooing long?" Emily asked, watching her work.

"Almost a year..." she admitted awkwardly. "Since before Henry was born."

An impressed look crossed her face. "You're much better than I was a year in," she admitted.

"I know I'm lacking in some of the technical areas," she shrugged. "But having a good mentor will help with that...I haven't really had that benefit yet. Mostly I've been teaching myself."

"You don't seem like the tattooing type," Emily said. "You look like you should be in college right now, cheerleading by day, living the sorority life by night."

JJ gave a small humorless laugh. "Close. I was a varsity soccer player, not a cheerleader. But when I found out I was pregnant with Henry, I lost my soccer scholarships and then I couldn't afford to attend school anymore. And my parents would have been furious, so I took a job cleaning at a tattoo parlour in exchange for being taught how to tattoo and pretended like I was going to school. Of course, then they found out and kicked me out and now I'm here..."

Emily nodded like she'd heard it all before and JJ couldn't help but wonder what her story was. She spoke like someone well educated and carried herself with the posture and poise that came from growing up well-off, so it surprised her that she would end up running a tattoo parlour with a face tattoo. Of course, they had just met and JJ was desperately hoping the other woman would give her a job, so she didn't dare ask just then.

She was most of the way through her tattoo – a black and white realistic mermaid, a choice for which Emily declared she'd had guts – when Emily declared she'd seen enough. JJ felt her stomach squirm, ready to pack up her machine and her son and go.

"Fantastic!" Emily said enthusiastically. "With a little work, I can make you the biggest artist to come out of Pennsylvania since Shane O'Neil."

"I...but..." JJ stammered, surprised and a little confused. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Oh, and if you need a place to stay, I've got room in the loft above the studio."

"You're...giving me a place to stay?" JJ asked incredulously. "And my infant son?"

"As long as you don't mind me for a roommate," Emily said jokingly, as if she didn't grasp why JJ seemed so shocked.

Tears welled in JJ's eyes and she tried not to let it show as she wrapped Emily in a hug, squishing Henry between them.


	2. Chapter 2

JJ was feeding Henry strained peas and carrots when Derek knocked on the door. Emily's loft didn't have much in the way of baby-friendly furniture, so she had him sitting on the table while she sat in a chair in front of him with a spoonful of baby food in one hand, the other on the baby's leg to keep him from crawling off.

Emily answered the door and spoke to Derek for a moment, then came into the kitchen grinning like she had a secret she just couldn't contain. "You'll never guess who I've got down in the shop to give you a crash course in New School..."

JJ stared at her, eyes wide, with a mix of confusion and alarm. She had never attempted New School tattooing, never even seen a New School tattoo in person. She didn't think anyone in East Allegheny even knew what New School was.

When JJ didn't seem to be in any hurry to guess, Emily declared excitedly, "Penny Dreadful! She's a good friend of Derek's and I've convinced her to come work with you!" She clapped her hands together once and waited for JJ's reaction, clearly proud of herself.

Her jaw hung open a moment or two in astonishment. Everyone in tattooing had at least heard of Penny Dreadful – she was one of the main pioneers behind the New School style. JJ had never met anyone nearly that famous. The realization hit her then that she was going to be tattooing in front of her and the excitement plummeted into self-consciousness. She still got nervous tattooing in front of Emily, she had no idea how she'd manage to work with someone like Penny without making a complete and utter fool out of herself.

"Please tell me you're joking..." she said, a little hysterically.

"Don't be nervous," Emily insisted, apparently missing the note of hysteria, going to the kitchen to wet a washcloth to wash Henry's messy face. "She's honestly the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She's a human cupcake."

JJ attempted to plaster on a smile that felt more like a grimace as she tried to adopt Emily's enthusiasm. She was grateful – she'd been apprenticing the woman for all of a week and she was already getting heavy-hitters to privately tutor her – she just didn't want to let her down.

* * *

When JJ stepped into the shop, she was nearly blinded by a billowing cloud of fluorescent orange who brushed past her to engulf Emily in a bone crushing hug.

"So good to see you, PG," came Emily's muffled voice from deep inside the embrace, sounding like she couldn't breathe.

"Emily the Strange and Wonderful," the woman said, releasing the hug so she could inspect Emily, "Long time, no see. You need to get down to California more often – you're too pale!"

From his lazy perch on one of the beds, Derek butted in, "I think vampires burst into flame if they get too much sun." He laughed at his own joke.

Emily, who still appeared to be catching her breath after the bone crushing hug, laughed sarcastically and rolled her eyes. "Hilarious. Pen, this is JJ, the one I told you about."

"This cutie pie?" she asked, pinching Henry's cheek, producing a high pitched squeal from the boy. "Looks a little young to be tattooing," she joked.

"That's Henry," JJ said, finding her voice, "My son. JJ is short for Jennifer." She offered a hand to shake, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

"You're practically a baby too," she insisted, forgoing the handshake in favour of an enormous hug. "You're too cute to be tattooing!"

Emily shook her head. "You're a little more Nickelodeon than Spike TV," Emily reminded, trying to suppress a smile.

"You can call me Garcia," the woman offered with a wink that said she'd only been joking before. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll never want to tattoo anything but New School."

"Oh, I don't..." JJ started to protest.

"Trust me, sugar," Garcia said conspiratorially, wrapping one arm around JJ's shoulders and leading her into the back. "Emily's good, but I'm going to blow your mind with the voodoo that I do."

JJ shot Emily a _'help me'_ look over her shoulder.

* * *

"So, how do you like tattooing under Emily?" Garcia asked her as she stood over her shoulder, watching her sketch New School designs, occasionally offering corrections or suggestions.

"I love it!" JJ effused. "She's been amazing. Not just as an artist, but she's letting me and my son stay with her. She's the best." She glanced in the direction of the woman in question – who had Henry corralled in his playpen and was entertaining him – with a fond smile.

Garcia smirked like she knew something JJ didn't. "Yeah, she's a peach." Then, on a different note, "You'll want to use a brighter color palette."

"How did you meet Emily?" JJ asked, drawings half forgotten. Emily hadn't opened up to her very much (and she hadn't even considered asking Derek because, frankly, he terrified her) and she was eager to learn as much about the woman as possible.

"Through Derek. I knew him from when we were kids – we were both teenage delinquents..." She stopped her story when she saw the look JJ was giving her. "Hacking. Don't give me that look. Anyway, a tattoo artist came to give a talk about tattooing turning his life around and we both decided to take it up and we pooled our money to buy a machine and we used to practice on each other. He eventually got a job at Em's studio here and that's when I met her."

"And you're in California now?"

"I was raised there before my parents died and I had to move to Chicago to live with my aunt and uncle. I like the sunshine. But I travel so much to conventions and such that I'm barely ever at my own studio. When you get more experience, I'll have you down to be a guest artist there. You'll like it so much you'll never want to leave," Garcia promised.

JJ laughed. "I don't know if I'd survive that much direct sunlight. Or that much New School." _'Or that much of Garcia's bubbly enthusiasm,'_ she thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

"Please," Emily begged, putting unnecessary emphasis on the 's' sound. She held her hands together like she was praying and pouted a little, looking unreasonably adorable.

"But why?" JJ whined rather childishly. She folded her arms resolutely over her chest.

Out of the blue that morning, Emily had decided that JJ's look required a total makeover and was currently trying to convince her thusly. "If you look like a tattooer, you'll start thinking like a tattooer."

"But what's wrong with how I look now?" she asked, fingering the ends of her hair. She could feel herself giving in, if only because Emily looked so cute when she was begging.

"You're too cute – you need some edge. I promise not to do anything too drastic..." Emily ran her fingers through the ends of JJ's hair, fluffing them up with a thoughtful expression.

"Fine," JJ relented with a dramatic sigh that threatened to turn into a moan if Emily didn't stop playing with her hair.

Emily's grin was suddenly a little too mischievous for her liking. "First thing's first," she said, clapping her hands together, "How do you feel about piercings?"

JJ's last thought as Emily took her hand and lead her down to the shop was that they had wildly different definitions of the word 'drastic'.

* * *

JJ barely recognized the person looking at her in the mirror. Where once had been a classic blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl-next-door, now stood what she could only describe as a badass tattoo artist.

Emily had eventually worn her down on the piercing (she hadn't fought all that hard against it, in the end) and she now had a ring through her septum. She'd never liked the look on other people, but found she quite liked it on herself.

The harder sell had been the grey hair. Even if it was in style, she was afraid of looking old. Emily had been right about that one too. With her hair all curled and styled, she looked admittedly sexy...she'd never really thought of herself as being sexy – cute, yes, but not sexy – but this new look had really brought out that side of her.

"What do you think, Henry?" Emily asked the baby, the two of them standing in the doorway to the bathroom. "How does Mommy look?"

Henry shrieked and clapped his hands before stuffing a fist in his mouth and drooling down his shirt.

"Agreed," Emily said with a grin, entirely too proud of herself. "She does look amazing."

"I admit I was nervous," JJ said, reaching out for her son, "But it turned out incredible – you're a miracle worker. I look like a real tattooer."

"I told you," Emily said with a wink. "Andddd," she said, stretching out the word, building suspense, "The perfect place to debut your new look is the tattoo convention tomorrow."

"What?" she yelped, "Convention? No! I've never done one before, I'm not ready!"

"You _are_ ready," Emily insisted. "I promise it isn't as scary as you think. You'll gain so much experience in just a few hours. And I'll be there the whole time to help you."

JJ sighed, realizing once again that she couldn't say no to that smile.

* * *

JJ wiped her sweating palms on her dress. Actually, it was Emily's dress – she had insisted that JJ's new look required she wear a tight red dress that day as part of her new oeuvre. JJ had to admit, she looked _good_ , but that did nothing to quell the ball of nerves in her stomach.

The convention had only just started and was already swarming with people. Music from a live band pulsed through the auditorium. The floor was littered with hot rods and artisan booths and bikini clad models awaiting the pin-up contest wandered through the crowds.

"I don't think I can do this," she breathed, looking at Emily with wide eyes. She balled her hands into fists at her sides to hide their trembling.

"Don't think of it as a convention," Emily advised, tearing her gaze away from the models and resting a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Think of it as one tattoo after another...but with a dozen people watching. Shut out all the noise and chaos. You're a good artist, just remember that."

JJ nodded and took a few shaky breaths. She smoothed down her skirt for the tenth time in as many minutes. She went back to unpacking her machine and inks, unable to block out the growing noise and commotion.

"You can do this," Emily promised with a gentle smile.

"If it isn't little Emily," a voice boomed from behind them.

"Dave!" Emily cried happily, turning and hugging the man. "I didn't know you'd be here."

"Beautiful cars and beautiful women...where else would I be?" he said with a chuckle. "Plus, I heard you were going to be here and I wanted to see you. And I heard you had some hotshot new apprentice, I wanted to check on the rumours."

At the reference to her, JJ looked up from her work and immediately felt her cheeks flush as she recognized the man. She gave a little half-wave, admittedly starstruck.

"Dave, this is JJ," Emily introduced. "JJ, David Rossi."

"Wow," JJ breathed out in a whoosh. "I love your work!"

Dave grinned smugly, shaking her hand, like he was used to effusive praise. "Are you thinking of specializing in American Traditional?" he asked.

"I don't know – there's a lot of rules to follow. But you definitely inspired me to get into tattooing."

"Let's see what you can do, kid," Dave said, hopping onto the bed and rolling back a sleeve. "I've got this little devil tattoo I got while drunk and my grandmother would be horrified if she were alive to see it, so I'd like to get it covered up."

"Covered up?" JJ repeated, blinking a few times, then glanced at Emily whose face was lit up with pride. Emily gave her a thumbs up and she attempted a smile back, determined not to let her down.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm looking to collaborate with someone on a Criminal Minds AU in the Once Upon a Time oeuvre. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, send me a PM.**

* * *

JJ lay wide awake in the hotel room bed, feeling Emily's breath puffing hotly against the back of her neck, making her loose hair flutter and tickle her skin.

The other woman had dropped asleep nearly the second she'd lay down in bed, but JJ found sleep elusive.

She was well and truly exhausted – she'd done close to fifty tattoos without a break and by the end, her hand was cramped so bad, she thought it might stay molded to the shape of her machine – but Emily's close proximity kept sleep at bay.

The hotel had overbooked their rooms for the convention and instead of the two bed room they'd booked, they'd ended up having to share only one. Emily had apologized profusely, even though it hadn't been her fault and JJ had felt her cheeks pink at the mere thought of sharing a bed, but had tried to act as if it weren't a big deal.

She had a feeling Emily hadn't bought the act, but she kindly hadn't called her out on it.

It hadn't helped that Emily wore next to nothing to bed – a pair of boyshort panties and a stretched out tank top that threatened to expose her breasts with the wrong movement. JJ thought maybe she was trying to kill her.

She rolled over to stare at the ceiling tiles and tried not to think of the warm soft body lying next to her, focusing instead on memories of the day.

The convention hadn't been nearly as terrifying as she'd built it up to be in her mind, she'd been much too busy to be nervous. Emily had mostly left her to her own devices, only interrupting with small corrections and advice.

By the end, she had felt like a real working artist. Albeit, a spent one...who knew tattooing was so physical? Three tattoos in row and she was wiping sweat off her forehead with her arm like a marathon runner. Five and she was feeling kinks in her back she hadn't felt since pulling all-nighters in high school.

Emily snuffled in her sleep and rolled over, pressing herself up against JJ's side.

JJ held stock still, trying to keep herself as separate from Emily as possible without waking up the other woman.

Emily hadn't done any tattooing that day, offering the excuse that she wanted to be free should JJ need her, for which JJ was glad. She _had_ offered to rub JJ's shoulders (which she declined with a voice several octaves too high) and braided her hair away from her face (which she had gratefully accepted because flyaways kept getting stuck to her forehead, but had found having Emily's fingers playing with her hair ultimately distracting, even if she did accidentally pull her hair several times).

This little crush of hers was really getting out of control...

It would be one thing if she was just physically attractive. That she probably could've gotten over fairly easily.

But on top of being gorgeous, Emily was intelligent and funny and... JJ stopped herself from listing all the attributes she liked about her. What killed her was that she was so accepting of her, flaws and all. She moved JJ into her apartment, no questions asked, and didn't ask for a penny in rent. She accepted her son like he was her own and Henry was absolutely smitten with her too.

Damn if she wasn't head over heels for this woman already.

Emily snuggled closer to her, one arm flopping out across JJ's stomach to rest on her opposite hip.

JJ tried to quash the smile on her lips, even though there was no one there to see.

Sleep wasn't about to come, but she burrowed deeper under the quilt and relaxed into Emily's sleepy embrace.

* * *

"You're awake!" Emily exclaimed with unholy enthusiasm, considering the hour of the morning.

JJ, who had barely cracked one eye open, was taken aback by her excitement in her half-awake state. She yawned and stretched. "Good morning?" she said warily, slipping out of bed and padding across the room to the grumbling coffee machine. She needed caffeine if she was going to be even remotely human after the long wakeful night she'd had.

Emily put down the bottle of nail polish she was using to paint her toenails and handed JJ her phone. "Check your Twitter."

"What? Why?" She ran a hand through her dishevelled hair as she swallowed a gulp of coffee that burned all the way down her throat.

"Just look."

JJ studied Emily's hand – for an artist who prided herself on precision, the crimson nail polish was sloppily painted all over her cuticles and down onto her fingers. After a moment, she took the phone and with sleepy eyes, she scrolled through her Twitter application.

She'd barely ever updated her Twitter and hadn't even had an Instagram before coming to work for Emily. The older woman had demanded she keep both regularly updated to 'boost her social media presence' and 'reach her target clientel'.

She paused in the midst of scrolling, brow furrowing in confusion. "Where are all these mentions and likes coming from?"

"Keep scrolling..." Emily said with barely restrained glee.

Finally, she spotted it. "Oh my God, is this for real?" She had to do a couple of double takes to be sure she wasn't still dreaming.

Apparently, David Rossi, American Traditional legend, had been so thrilled with her cover-up that he'd tweeted it to all two million of his followers and over night, everyone knew JJ's name.

"I've gained like four thousand followers since last night!"

"I think cover-ups might be your calling," Emily told her enthusiastically. "With a little more practice, you can be in the ranks of Tommy Helm!" She awkwardly stood up with her wet nails and waddled across the hotel carpet to give JJ a tight hug.

JJ yawned again. "This is all really exciting, but I need to pee." She escaped Emily's embrace, ducking her head so she wouldn't expose her bright red cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

To celebrate a successful convention and JJ having found her niche, she'd decided to get a throat tattoo. Getting a visible face or neck tattoo was a sort of right of passage in the tattoo world, signifying that you'd dedicated your life to the profession by getting a tattoo that the traditional job market would shun.

She'd be willing to bet her parents would be horrified.

In fact, the old her – the good girl, never do anything wrong, person she was before she'd gotten pregnant – probably would have been horrified too. It felt like an entire lifetime had passed since she'd been that person and a little part of her was exhilerated by having left that girl behind for this new unconventional model.

Emily's touch was very gentle and she tattooed with a surprisingly light hand (she tattooed 'like a lady' Emily had said with a laugh when JJ had commented). Together, they'd designed a beautiful fine line black and grey jewel-themed piece that was already looking stunning at Emily's hand.

She'd been reluctant to do it, for some reason JJ couldn't quite figure out. She'd suggested Morgan do it because he specialized in black and grey, but JJ had insisted and Emily had eventually given in without too much fight.

Of course, now she was rather reconsidering her insistence because Emily kept leaning in close to get a better look at the fine lines and every time she got too close, JJ's heart fluttered rapidly and she was sure that Emily could hear it every time.

To make matters worse, her glasses perched on the end of her nose adorably and her perfume was a deep cinnamon vanilla mix that was nearly mouth-watering. She kept licking her lips as she concentrated and JJ couldn't help but focus on the sliver of pink tongue that kept flicking out from between her lips.

To distract herself, JJ scrambled to find something to talk about. "How did you get into tattooing?" She was genuinely interested in the answer and had barely restrained herself from asking before now, afraid of being rude and prying.

"Mostly it was to piss off my parents," she admitted with a little snort of laughter. "They're both foreign ambassadors and they wanted me to follow in their footsteps. So, I picked the most contrary 'improper' thing I could think of and that's pretty much it. I ran away with an older boyfriend who specialized in Celtic, so I do a lot of that now, but I don't like it because it brings back bad memories. I've done a lot of travelling, studying international styles. I'm one of the only artists state-side who specializes in Trash Polka."

"I've never even heard of Trash Polka," JJ admitted, hoping Emily wouldn't judge her for revealling just how green she was.

"They're mostly a European trend, but gaining popularity here. They're sort of like collages of different elements that don't necessarily go together; done only in red and black. Very bold, unusual aesthetics. They're very cool, one of my favourite styles." Her cheeks flushed with excitement as she spoke, tinging her pale cheeks an attractive pink.

JJ opened her mouth to ask another question, eager to keep her talking so she could see more of this side of the usually quiet and reserved woman, but Emily cut her off by leaning forwards and pressing her lips to JJ's.

JJ blinked in surprise for what felt like an eternity, too stunned to move her lips, before her mind caught up with her and she kissed back with fervour. Her neck screamed with pain from the fresh needle marks as she leaned in to deepen the kiss, but she pushed the pain from her mind, so eager was she to finally act on her deep-seated feelings.

When Emily pulled away, it was with a sly grin. "Stop talking or you'll make me mess up these lines."

JJ could barely form a coherent thought. Emily smiled tenderly and brushed a lock of hair behind JJ's ear, then wiped some loose ink off her throat before starting the machine again.

"You kissed me..." she finally said dumbly.

"Yeah, "Emily said, laughing. "I did. I also told you that you'd mess up my lines if you kept talking."

"I thought you were..." she stammered, trying to form a thought. "That you..."

"Do I have to kiss you again to make you be quiet?" Emily asked, quirking a brow.

"You could try it," JJ suggested slyly.

Emily quickly pecked her on the lips and then slowly said against them, "Let me finish your tattoo."

* * *

JJ bucked under the influence of Emily's fingers, then fell back against the pillows, breathing hard.

Emily grinned smugly as she settled down next to her.

"Thank God Henry decided to sleep through the night," JJ panted.

Emily ran a tickling finger over JJ's hip. "Do you want more kids?" she asked, smiling fondly.

"Someday, maybe. I don't know. Henry was a surprise, I hadn't wanted kids yet, so I wasn't really thrilled about it at first. Now that he's here, though, I love him to death. But I'm not ready for another one, not for a few years anyway. Besides, Henry takes up so much time, it's hard to think about doing it over again." She stretched her arms above her, her spine popping as her back lengthened. "What about you? You'd be a wonderful mother – you're so good with Henry."

"I've always wanted kids, but, well..." she trailed off, "You know, things got in the way." She didn't seem about to elaborate further. She rolled over and rested on her elbows. "Now, how about another round?" she asked smirking.

JJ laughed. "Already?"

Emily waggled her brows, making JJ laugh again. "You haven't slept with a lot of women, have you?" She leaned in to kiss JJ's jaw, affixing her lips to the ridge of bone, and kissing up to her ear and gently nipping the lobe.

He knee bumped between JJ's legs, making her writhe, fingers clutching the sheets.

All thoughts of further questions were vanquished from her mind.


	6. Chapter 6

JJ stared over Emily's shoulder, watching her tattooing, amazed at how clean she pulled lines, how smooth she shaded, how saturated she packed her colours.

She was trying hard not to stare at the top of the back piece peeking out of the neck of Emily's shirt. Her explorations last night had revealed an expansive piece depicting a ballerina being abducted by a demon; she'd traced the lines with delicate admiring fingers while Emily had slept. The colours spreading across the back of her neck made JJ's heart race with memories of the night. She tried hard not to think about how badly she wanted to press her lips there.

"The tricky part is not overworking the skin," Emily was saying and JJ reminded herself to pay attention. "The skin on the chest gets inflamed so easily, it'll kill your line work if you aren't careful."

"What's your secret?" JJ asked, "Mine are always blow-out city."

"You want to do as few passes as possible. If you pull a clean line the first time, the less trauma you cause the skin. You'll get better at it with time." The machine stopped buzzing as she lifted it to examine her work.

She was so talented it took JJ's breath away.

She stood up and pulled off her gloves. "I've got a piercing client in five minutes. Why don't you finish shading this for me?"

"Really?" Her eyes were wide in surprise.

"Of course. I'll tell Morgan to keep an eye on you, but you'll be fine."

"But isn't it like, considered really disrespectful to work on another artist's tattoo?"

Emily rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "I trust you."

JJ gave her a brilliant smile and reached up to give Emily's hand a brief gentle squeeze. As she walked off, JJ stared after her for several moments too long with what was probably a sappy look of longing.

While she gloved up, Morgan sauntered over, giving her a knowing look.

"What?" JJ asked as he smirked at her.

"Nothing," he said with a shrug, still grinning like a cat with a mouse in its sights.

She punched him in the shoulder, making him grin wider still.

She set to work with him hovering over her shoulder, making her a little nervous. He was actually a very sweet guy and a good teacher, but she still missed Emily's gentle guidance.

JJ would admit – to herself only – to being intimidated by Morgan. Partly for his skill with a tattoo machine (he'd been tattooing for so long and was well-respected among tattoo artists for his incredible black and grey realism and portrait work), but also because he and Emily were so close...

The two had known each other for years before she'd come along. And she had a sneaking suspicion that at some point they'd been more than just friends. She had no evidence to suggest that they had, other than the way he sometimes looked at her when she wasn't looking and the flirtatious way they spoke.

After watching her work in silence for a time, Morgan spoke. "So," he said, feigning nonchalance, "I've got a friend I think you'd really like. He just moved here from New Orleans to join the police force out here. Want me to set you up?"

"What?" JJ said, taken aback. "Why? Why would you...? I don't want..." She stopped her machine, flustered. She dabbed the tattoo to avoid looking at him, feeling his curious stare burning into her back. "I'm actually, sort of, seeing someone?" she stammered.

"Really?" Morgan's brows shot towards his hairline and his smile became a knowing smirk. "Who?" His voice got low with implication.

"I don't know, it's still really new? I don't think I should say."

Morgan laughed. "Ahh," he said, as if he understood everything.

Her cheeks pinked and she leaned closer to the client's chest to avoid further conversation, hoping her machine would drown out any further attempts at interrogating her.

Emily burst back into the room at that moment and took one look between the two, raising a brow at the tension, then immediately turned back out of the room as if hoping to avoid participation in the awkwardness.

* * *

"What are you doing?" JJ said with a laugh, standing in the doorway to the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe nonchalantly.

"Drawing," Emily answered without looking up. Her pencil skritched against the paper as she shaded with a critical eye.

"Drawing what?" she asked, pouncing on the bed with a little growl. She sat herself on Emily's lap and tried to peek at the drawing pad.

"Hey!" Emily cried, pulling the pad to her chest. "No peeking!" JJ pouted. "And stop being so cute."

"Can't," she said with a shrug, more adorable than ever.

Emily closed the sketchpad just in time for JJ to pluck it out of her hands and toss it aside. JJ cocked her head to the side and stared at her, smiling. Emily quirked a brow questioningly.

JJ laughed. "You've got pencil on your face." She licked her thumb and wiped the pencil away, then grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss. When she pulled away, she asked, "What were you drawing?"

"You're incorrigible," Emily whispered, pulling her tight against her body and kissing her harder.

Their kissing quickly became more intense and, just as it was reaching a fever pitch, the phone rang. "Ignore it," JJ panted desperately against her lips.

"But Henry..." Emily rasped, back arching as she groped at the bedside table for her phone.

JJ bumped her hips against Emily's, making her cry out. "Ah, screw it!" She abandoned the phone, letting it go to voicemail and hoping the sound hadn't woken the baby in the next room.

Dead air crackled over the line and, without warning, ice water washed down Emily's back, making her pull out of the kiss with a start.

JJ looked at her, confused, but Emily was barely breathing as she stared pale-faced at the phone like she'd seen a ghost.

"Emily... Em? What's wrong?" JJ shook her gently. Emily shushed her, still looking at the phone until it finally beeped with the end of the message. "What the hell was that?" she asked.

With vacant eyes, Emily shook her head.

The mood had thoroughly and effectively been broken. Without words, Emily lay down, still staring warily at the phone like she expected it to blow up at any moment. Sadly, JJ whispered a good night and turned off the lamp, laying down too.

Once she was sure Emily was asleep, she reached for the sketchpad and flipped to the page Emily had been working on, finding a breathtakingly beautiful portrait of herself. She smiled tenderly, tracing the lines with her fingertips, then pressed a kiss to Emily's temple.

Whatever was going on with Emily, she just had to love her through it...and she dared to say, at least to herself, that whatever this was, it sure felt a lot like love.


	7. Chapter 7

JJ paced the small apartment in the dark, having just gotten Henry back to sleep after a late night crying fit, but wide awake herself.

There was a scraping of keys in the lock signalling Emily's arrival home – she'd gone out for drinks with some friends; she'd invited JJ along, but she didn't have a babysitter.

Emily's laughter came tumbling down the hall, followed by the deep rumble of Derek's voice. JJ ducked into her room, not entirely sure why she was hiding, but found herself keeping the door open a crack to eavesdrop in spite of herself.

The first thing she heard was Emily shushing Derek, reminding him that Henry was sleeping and they didn't want to wake up JJ either.

"Have you told her yet?" came Derek's distinctive murmur over the sounds of Emily moving around in the kitchen making coffee.

"Of course not," Emily said, "She doesn't need to know – she's here to learn, not get involved in my personal life."

Derek scoffed and said, "You don't think sleeping with her counts as getting involved in your personal life?"

JJ could practically hear Emily roll her eyes in response. "How do you know about that?"

He didn't answer and was presumably smirking irritatingly. "You don't think she has a right to know?" He continued, "If she's going to be working in your shop and sleeping in your bed?"

"Maybe," Emily replied, "But now is not the time."

"And in the meantime you're just going to keep sleeping with me and pretend nothing is going on?" he asked.

Emily gave a scandalized gasp. "Derek! You know we haven't..."

JJ stopped listening then. She pulled the door closed and leaned back against it, burying her face in her hands. Her heart was beating somewhere in her throat, choking her breaths.

She was sleeping with Morgan too?

Clearly Emily had must not have any real feelings for her. And JJ was stupidly pining after her like a puppy.

They obviously weren't even friends or Emily would have told her...

JJ felt tears pricking at her eyes and angrily wiped them away, mad at herself for letting this happen.

* * *

"So..." JJ said, leaning her head in her hand, but unable to come up with a follow up question.

She'd agreed to go out to dinner with Morgan's friend – mostly out of spite and hurt feelings – even though she hadn't really felt up to a date at the moment. Morgan had given her a look of confusion when she'd asked him to set up a date, but he hadn't questioned it.

A part of her knew she was being childish. Emily had promised to mentor her. That was it. It wasn't her fault JJ had developed a massive crush on her and it wasn't her fault she didn't return those feelings.

But that didn't stop JJ from feeling foolish and embarrassed every time she looked at Emily. And it didn't stop her from feeling angry – at herself, at Emily, even at Derek...

But now that she was actually on the date, she was really starting to regret the decision.

She felt bad for the guy, she really did; he seemed very sweet and like he might actually be into her...and here she was moping pathetically, stewing over her broken heart like a teenager after her first break up.

He was extremely interested in her work as an artist and had asked about a million questions, even suggested that maybe she could work on him. She'd tried to be as interested in his stories of being a police officer, but was finding it difficult.

Eventually, she sighed wearily, tired of pretending to listen, the whole time wishing it were Emily seated across from her. "I'm sorry," she said, genuinely meaning it. "I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have led you to believe that there was a chance of this going anywhere. I've just got a lot on my mind and I'm afraid I haven't been very good company."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. His hand was warm on hers and she mentally noted all the work-hardened callouses and knobby knuckles in all the places where Emily's hand was soft and smooth.

She shook her head. "I think it's just too soon for me to be dating. I'm still getting over someone."

He nodded. "I understand. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you..."

JJ smiled sadly and squeezed his hand.

* * *

"You're home early," Emily said, glancing over her shoulder from where she was holding Henry in her lap, feeding him a bottle. "I'm guessing it didn't go well?" She couldn't help the slight pleased note in her voice at that.

JJ sighed and flopped down on the couch, kicking off her heels. "Actually, it went great... He was really sweet, he was interested in what I do, and he genuinely liked me."

"So, why do you look so glum?" Emily asked, scowling a little.

JJ took Henry, leaned him over her shoulder, and patted his back to burp him. She looked at Emily's expression and debated what to tell her.

Suddenly, she found herself filled with spite.

"I just wish I'd had the foresight to give Henry a better father," she lied. "I think Will would make a great father."

"Oh..." Emily said, face falling visibly. "That's great. So, you're going to see him again?"

"We made plans to go out again next week," she lied again.

"That's great," Emily said again with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'm happy you found someone that makes you happy."

"He really does," she said, lifting her chin in a signal that the conversation was over. She stood up, bouncing Henry, and headed to her room. Once she'd locked herself inside, she laid down in bed and started crying into her pillow.

"Mama?" Henry asked from his cot.

"Mama's okay, baby," she sniffled. "We'll be okay...we just need a fresh start. Just you and me. Together. On our own. Again..."

"Love Mama," Henry said.

"I love you too, baby," she sobbed.


	8. Chapter 8

In a flurry of tears and activity, JJ moved about the loft collecting her sparse possessions and stuffing them into a duffel bag. Gaze blurry, she stumbled about, making more noise than altogether necessary or wise, considering her son was sleeping in the next room, but it felt good, storming about in her righteous fury.

Was she being immature? Probably...

But she just couldn't stay under the same roof as the woman she was quickly falling head over heels for, knowing that she didn't feel the same way, that she'd used her for sex and just discarded her.

In her chaotic scramble to collect her things and leave before Emily returned home, she knocked over the assortment of bottles on the bathroom counter and sent them crashing to the ground. Henry woke up screaming and she was very glad that Emily wasn't home to be awoken by the noise.

She picked the baby up from his crib and bounced him against her hip a little frantically. "Shh, baby, shh. It's gonna be okay." She wasn't sure she believed that.

Once she left, she'd have no job, nowhere to live, and no one to care. She'd have nothing.

But she'd done it before and they'd both been okay. She could do it again.

Maybe she could go back home and beg her parents for forgiveness. They'd been angry with her choices, but surely they wouldn't make her live on the street.

She'd go back to Pennsylvania and try to find a job at a studio – any studio that would have her. Or maybe she could try Rossi's shop in New York; he'd seemed very interested in her work.

Anything that paid enough to put a roof over her son's head and put food in his belly.

She realized she was crying and she wiped the tears away in frustration.

This was all her stupid fault. Why did she always fall for someone she couldn't have?

She crammed the last of Henry's clothes into her duffel bag and wrestled the cranky child into his coat and boots, then took one last look around the apartment that had been her home for the last several months. They'd been happy there. She'd thought they'd be there for a long time – maybe forever...

Her hand was on the door knob when it turned and she stepped back, startled.

Emily burst through the door, took in the sight of JJ, bags packed, and furrowed her brows. "Are you going somewhere?"

"No... I mean, yes. I mean, I thought I'd go stay with my parents for awhile," JJ babbled. She'd hoped to avoid this conversation altogether and here she was caught without a good lie prepared.

Emily frowned. "Oh... In the middle of the night?"

JJ shrugged, but said nothing.

"Why don't you at least wait until morning? I'll drive you to the train station."

JJ chewed her lip. Now that Emily was standing before her, her resolve was wavering. "I guess I could wait..." She looked down at the floor. "I'll just put Henry back to bed."

JJ climbed back into bed, but was unable to sleep – confused and unsettled, she stared at the ceiling, her stomach curdling with anxiety. How was she going to get out of this when she couldn't seem to say no to Emily?

* * *

JJ was drunk. Blind stinking drunk.

Unable to sleep, even after Emily had gone to bed and Henry's whining had faded into little snores, she had raided the liquor cabinet, finding a bottle of tequila emblazoned with the words _'Property of Derek Morgan! Do not drink!'_ and started swigging until the sour pit of her stomach no longer concerned her.

That's how she ended up on Will's doorstep, late at night. She knew it was a bad idea, in some far-off blurry part of her mind. But she just couldn't stop knocking.

Will was bleary-eyed and confused when he answered the door. He must have been sleeping.

She surged forwards and kissed him hard. He stumbled back slightly in surprise, but after a moment, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.

He broke off for breath, wiping her lipstick off his lips with the back of his hand. "What's going on, Jay?" he asked, trying to meet her darting gaze.

She shook her head, flustered and unable to form a coherent thought. "I just..." She shook her head again, then surged back in for another kiss.

The two bodies backed into his apartment in a tangle of limbs and lips.

* * *

JJ could feel Derek's eyes boring holes into her as she climbed into the car, slamming the door behind her and sending her head pounding again. She groaned and covered her face with both hands, unable to face his scrutiny. "Just drive," she begged.

He stared at her a few moments longer, then put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb with a screech of tires that did nothing to help her aching head. "What were you thinking?" Derek asked.

JJ rubbed her temples. "Can you not?" she rasped, throat parched.

"No, I'm gonna... You go out with Will, but you're clearly not interested, break things off. Then you tell Emily you're taking off – trying to sneak out without her knowing after she's bent over backwards for you, break her heart. And you run right back to Will for a hook up? What are you doing?" He shook his head, waves of disappointment rolling off of him.

"Please stop yelling," she groaned, seriously regretting having called him. "It's none of your business, by the way."

"It's my business if you're gonna break my girl's heart."

JJ scoffed, but said nothing.

"She cares about you, in case you hadn't noticed. She doesn't open up to people, to protect herself, but she let you in and you're just gonna prove that she's right never to trust people."

"I don't recall asking for your opinion," JJ snapped, temper thin and brittle with her hangover.

"Well, you're gonna get it. Look, I'm being a friend here and giving you a ride and I won't tell Em because I don't want to hurt her, but you should tell her. She deserves the truth if you're going to continue 'seeing' her," he said pointedly.

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

"Jay..."

"No, I'm serious, pull over!" Derek obeyed with barely enough time before JJ flung the door open and retched all over the curb. As she heaved the contents of her stomach all over the sidewalk, she felt her cheeks burning with shame.


	9. Chapter 9

In the end, JJ hadn't gone afterall, even though she'd wanted to.

In the light of day, under Emily's curious and concerned gaze, the plan had seemed much less inspired than it had the night before. So, she'd unpacked her things and prepared herself for the foreseeable future under the same roof as Emily Prentiss.

And working for her.

For whatever reason, Emily began acting like nothing at all had ever happened between the two of them. And even though she knew that things between them were definitely over, that was the thing that JJ found cut her like a knife. She supposed she should be glad that after everything they were able to maintain a professional relationship, but the lack of light behind Emily's eyes when she looked at her was worse than anything she could have said to her, anything she could have done.

Much to JJ's relief, in the immediate aftermath of everything, Emily had been booked solid at a guest spot at Rossi's shop in New York for a weekend, so she'd brought Garcia back to work with JJ some more.

Without Emily there, she had a much needed chance to clear her head and try to make sense of the way in which her world had been turned upside down.

On the bright side, Garcia was a welcome relief from the tension of Emily's presence.

Or it would have been, if she weren't so extremely perceptive.

Almost the first words out of her mouth upon JJ entering the studio were, "What's wrong?"

At first she'd resolutely denied that anything was wrong, put on the cheeriest fake smile she could muster, and kept her head down. But Garcia was heedlessly persistent, no matter how good JJ's acting was and her concerned gaze wore her down until she was nearly on the verge of frustrated tears.

Finally, despite her very best attempts at putting on a brave face, she couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down sobbing. "I'm so stupid! I thought she liked me, but the whole time she's been dating Derek!"

Unexpectedly, Garcia burst out laughing. "Derek Morgan _date_ someone?" She laughed until she got a stitch in her side. "Derek Morgan has never gone on a second date in his life," she said through panting breaths once her giggles subsided, still clutching her side.

"But I heard them talking," JJ insisted, frowning about being laughed at like her feelings were some kind of joke. "They've been sleeping together."

"Ahh," Garcia nodded, "That's a different story. Yeah, they used to hook up – it's how they met. But from what he's told me, they haven't been doing that for awhile now. He didn't say why or she didn't give him a reason."

"Then why did he say she was going to ' _keep_ sleeping with him' instead of...whatever they were talking about?" she challenged.

"Because he's Derek Morgan and he's a cocky asshole sometimes," Garcia said with a shrug. "That's why you're so upset?"

JJ opened her mouth to answer, but Garcia interrupted with an excited squeal. "You like her! OMG, that's so cute!"

She opened her mouth to argue, but couldn't. She shrugged helplessly.

"You two would be such a cute couple. I totally ship it!"

"That's just it, though. We're _not_ a couple. We hooked up a few times..." At that, Garcia made a high-pitched noise like a kettle boiling, but JJ pressed on without giving her time to fangirl about that. "And then she acted like nothing ever happened and judging by what she said, she has no intention of letting me into her personal life, so..."

"I wouldn't give up on her just yet," Garcia said. "She likes to keep her emotions very close to the chest, but if she let you in once, I'd bet that there's something there. She doesn't let just anyone get close to her." A look stole across her face then that JJ didn't like. "I bet if I asked her if..."

"You can't say anything to her!" JJ interjected insistently before she could finish the thought.

"Why not?" Garcia pouted.

"Promise me!"

"Fine," she relented, but it was clear she wasn't happy about it.

* * *

When Emily returned on Monday, it was to find JJ in a much better mood and Garcia grinning like she had a particularly juicy secret she was dying to share. But then again, Garcia always seemed to make it her business to know everyone's secrets, sometimes even before they knew them themselves, so it wasn't an entirely unusual expression for her to have.

"You two have a good weekend?" she asked with a quirked brow as she unpacked her machines. She looked thoroughly exhausted.

Garcia was bouncing on her heels, full of her usual effervescent energy. "Oh, we had such a good time! We totally bared our souls and spilled secrets and really got to know each other!" she effused, winking at JJ.

"I'm glad?" Emily said, taken aback by her enthusiasm. She laughed a little at the expression on JJ's face.

"Right, Jayje?" Garcia said, elbowing her.

"Oh, yeah, it was...the best?"

"I knew you two would hit it off," Emily said, resting a gentle hand on JJ's upper arm, the tough seeming to surprise the younger woman. "And where's my little Henry?"

"Emmy!" Henry exclaimed from his playpen at the sound of his name, extending his pudgy arms towards her.

Emily lifted the baby high into the air, then cuddled him close to her chest, pressing kisses all over his cheeks full of baby fat.

As she cooed to the baby, JJ watched with adoration in her eyes and a tender smile on her lips.

Garcia didn't miss anything, catching JJ's sparkling smile and Emily lovingly cuddling the child. She gently elbowed JJ in the ribs again, nodding towards Emily and Henry.

"Don't say it," JJ whispered, unable to stop the smile that had blossomed across her lips and the way her eyes misted over with all the emotion stuck in her chest at the sight before her.


	10. Chapter 10

"Emily?" JJ mumbled, knocking on her bedroom door. "Can I talk to you? It's important..."

Emily answered the door with her a spoon hanging out of her mouth and peanut butter on her breath. She looked quizzically at JJ, cocking her head to the side in question.

"I think I'm pregnant," she blurted out without preamble, eyes wide and frightened.

Hurt flashed visibly across Emily's face and she blinked a few times, stunned. "Pregnant?" she repeated, voice warbling slightly despite her best attempts at keeping herself collected.

JJ collapsed against Emily's chest sobbing, balling a fist in the fabric of Emily's flannel pyjamas. "I'm so sorry! I only went out with him to spite you and I wasn't going to sleep with him, but then... And..." she hiccuped. "God, I'm so stupid!"

Taken aback, Emily wrapped her arms around the woman's heaving back, patting it a little awkwardly. "You're not stupid. It'll be okay. We'll figure this out."

"I'm not ready to have another baby," she sobbed. "I barely know what I'm doing at work and Henry is just entering his rebellious toddler phase..."

Emily let her ramble on for a few moments, as she tried to process everything. "Jayje, did you really do this because of me?" she whispered when her rant seemed to run out of steam. JJ nodded against Emily's chest, but said nothing. "Why?"

"I... I was jealous," she admitted. "I saw you with Morgan that night you went out and he was talking about you two sleeping together and I just let my mind run away from me. It wasn't until after that that Penny told me the truth and now everything is all screwed up..."

"Shh," Emily soothed. She shepherded JJ into her room and gently eased her towards the bed. She crawled in beside her and tenderly laid an arm across the blonde's hips, resting her head on her shoulder. "In the morning, we'll figure this out. Together."

JJ cuddled into Emily's embrace, sniffling, hitching breaths fading as she edged into sleep.

* * *

"Let's talk," Emily said when JJ came into the kitchen, yawning.

The smoke alarm had already gone off twice that morning, so JJ knew Emily had attempted to make breakfast for them. She appreciated the gesture, just not the acrid smell of burning toast that was currently making her stomach turn somersaults.

JJ ducked her head to avoid Emily's gaze as she sat down across from her at the table. She eyed the blackened squares on the plate in front of her, feeling bile rising in her throat and pushed the plate away from her. "I'm so sorry about last night – I didn't mean to freak out like that," she murmured, feeling Emily's concerned eyes upon her.

"Jayje, you've got nothing to be sorry for," Emily reassured. She passed a mug of herbal tea across the table to the other woman.

JJ took a sip of the tea, grateful for the warm sting of peppermint that settled her stomach, then shook her head. "No, it's not okay. I lost it and it's not your problem to deal with."

"I'm here to help you, Jayje," Emily said earnestly. She rested a hand on JJ's wrist. "I know what you're going through and no one should have to go through it alone."

"How?" JJ whispered, still avoiding her gaze, "How do you know?"

Emily bit at her lip, her turn to shy away. Finally, she sighed. "This is something I've never told anyone before..." JJ finally raised her eyes enough to stare at her, suddenly transfixed. "When I was a teenager, the older man I was involved with got me pregnant. I was young and scared and I had no one because my parents had all but disowned me. I loved him very much, but he was a very bad man... I couldn't have a baby, not with him, so I made the choice to have an abortion."

She watched JJ's face go through a spectrum of emotions, coming to rest on sympathy.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," Emily insisted. She wanted no one's sympathy. "It was the right decision and I don't regret it. I'm not saying it's the right decision for you, I just know what you're thinking and feeling right now."

JJ shrank back into herself. "You're braver than I am," she whispered, eyes filling with tears again.

Emily shook her head. "You had the courage to have Henry – that's real bravery to me."

She attempted a watery smile in response. "I'm just not sure I can do it again. Tell me what I should do," she urged. "You were smart enough not to make the same mistake twice, you have to help me."

Emily clutched her wrist tighter. "I can't do that. And even if I could, I wouldn't. This is something you need to decide for yourself. I'll be with you every step of the way, though, that I can do."

Tears started slowly making her way down JJ's pale cheeks, her eyes searching Emily's.

"And you don't have to worry about having a place to live, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. I'll even start paying you for your time in the shop."

"Why do you do it?" JJ asked. "Why do you keep doing so much for me and Henry and..." she gestured vaguely towards her stomach.

"Because you're my apprentice and you're my friend," Emily said with a shrug. "And I wish someone would have cared this much about me when I was just starting out, all alone."

JJ continued staring at her, tears still streaking her face, looking like she wanted to say something, but unable to find the words.

She looked so pathetic that Emily shook her head and held out her arms. "Give me a hug," she said gently.

She didn't need to be asked twice, nearly flying across the table to wrap herself up in Emily's tender embrace.

Emily laughed and gently kissed the top of her head.


	11. Chapter 11

Emily gently kneaded JJ's shoulders as she hunched over the toilet bowl, heaving.

This had become something of a daily routine for them, JJ vomiting and Emily holding her hair back while Henry wailed for attention from his playpen, having recently decided that if someone wasn't paying attention to him all hours of the day, the world must be coming to an end.

With a pathetic whimper, JJ leaned back against the wall, head lolling to the side, eyes tightly shut. Emily dabbed at her forehead with a wet washcloth and she leaned into the cool, soothing touch.

"We should go on a date," Emily blurted out suddenly, apropos of nothing.

JJ's eyes flew open. "What?" she squeaked.

"I just thought..." Emily stammered, "Since, you know, we already slept together that I should take you out to dinner or something."

"You're asking me out?"

"Well, yeah... I mean, only if you want to," Emily said with a shrug.

JJ laughed a little. "You're asking me out in the middle of the bathroom after I've been throwing up?"

"I guess not the most romantic moment," she admitted, "But I like you, really, and..."

"And you're feeling guilty," JJ supplied, brow raised.

Emily sighed. "Okay, maybe a little. But you said it was my fault that you slept with him."

"It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for this, Em. _I_ was the one that overreacted, _I_ was the one that let my imagination run away from me, _I_ was the one that let my hurt feelings dictate my actions – that's not on you."

"I still want to take you on a date," Emily insisted. "You're beautiful, smart, talented – you're amazing and I really like you."

"Isn't it a conflict of interest for you to date your apprentice?" JJ asked, even though she'd already mentally given in.

"Perhaps." Emily shrugged. "But it's probably also a conflict of interest to let her live with me and help raise her son and also sleep with her..."

"Touche." JJ tried to hide her blossoming smile, but failed. Eventually, she nodded. Emily leaned in to kiss her, but JJ clapped a hand over her mouth. "Vomit breath," she mumbled from behind her hand.

Emily laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

* * *

"Do you ever sleep?" JJ asked, padding into the living room. She'd just put Henry back to sleep and was getting a glass of water when she found Emily wide awake, even though it was after midnight.

"Chronic insomnia," Emily said with a shrug. The light of her laptop cast a ghostly glow to her already pale face. As JJ approached, she shut the lid of her laptop, almost secretively.

JJ sat down next to her with her water and elbowed her lightly.

Emily dug a spoon into the jar of peanut butter in her lap and offered it to JJ.

"Do you eat this every night?" she asked, taking the spoon and sucking it off.

"It's my weakness." Emily took the spoon back and dug out another large spoonful, eating it with a distant thoughtful expression. "But to be fair, it's my only weakness," she joked.

JJ rolled her eyes. "What are you working on?" she asked, nodding towards the laptop. She knew better by now than to ask it – Emily was nothing if not secretive – but she couldn't help prying just a little.

Emily glanced furtively at her laptop, then shrugged. "Just some business for the shop. I figured since I was up anyway..."

JJ pursed her lips, something about Emily's affect seemed untruthful, but she couldn't have said what.

Then, before she could voice her objections, Emily changed the subject, "I've been thinking... What if we raise the baby together – you and me?" She swung the spoon around, punctuating the question.

JJ looked at her for a long time, in silence, as if waiting for her to say 'just kidding'. Thus far, they'd been considering adoption as their best option, even going so far as talking to an adoption agent and looking at prospective families.

Emily paused with the spoon halfway to her mouth when she realized JJ was staring at her, mouth gaping open a little. "What?" she said, confused, when the silence continued.

"A) We've just started 'dating'. B) We have a toddler already. And C) You have a flourishing business to run taking up all your free time. What part of that doesn't deter you?" she listed, counting them off on her fingers.

"You raised Henry yourself, together it should be twice as easy..."

"None of it was easy, Em," JJ said, feeling a little hysterical at the prospect alone. "Especially the baby part." She scooted closer to her on the couch and rested a consoling hand on her knee to lighten the blow of rejection.

"But..." Emily said, glancing down at JJ's hand on her leg and biting her lip. "This could be my only chance to raise a baby," she whispered.

"I'm sure you'll get to have a baby, Em." JJ leaned in to kiss her shoulder. "Just because what happened before...happened, doesn't mean you won't have another chance."

"I won't, Jayje," she insisted, eyes filling with tears. This wasn't how she'd planned this conversation going in her head. "I've always wanted a child, but..."

JJ gently tipped Emily's chin up with one finger to look in her eyes. "I want that for you, Em, I do. I just don't know. Let me think about it?"

"Right, I'm sorry," she mumbled, feeling bad for guilting her with her tears.

JJ kissed her firmly. "Don't be sorry. Never be sorry."

Emily gave a wobbly smile that JJ pecked the corner of repeatedly until she gave a real smile.

JJ stood, taking the peanut butter out of Emily's hands. "Sleep, babe. We've got a doctor appointment tomorrow." Tomorrow, when they saw that first sonogram, everything would be that much more real...and she worried Emily would be that much more attached to something she wasn't sure she could give her.


	12. Chapter 12

"Emily, answer your damn phone!" Derek yelled across the studio. The small space was filled with the chaos of buzzing machines, the radio, and now the shrill ringing of Emily's phone.

"In a minute!" Emily shouted back over the noise. She was in the middle of a very intricate piece and wasn't pleased at being disturbed.

"It's messing up my vibe," he replied, louder still.

"Shut up about your 'vibe'," she scoffed, "Asshole." Her client laughed as Emily winked down at her. She didn't mean it when she insulted him and he knew that.

Derek just laughed, rolled his eyes, and went back to tattooing. "Nerd," he muttered.

She ignoring him. "Where's JJ anyway?" she asked, wetting a paper towel and wiping down her work. "She's supposed to be autoclaving shit for me."

"I sent her to get coffee," he replied. He was really enjoying having an apprentice and using the 'studio bitch' thing to its fullest extent, having her scrub the toilet, take out the garbage, make coffee, and run errands. He'd once tried to convince her to do his laundry, but she'd laughed in his face at that.

Emily groaned. "I need her help here. Get your own apprentice." At that moment, JJ came through the door, arms laden with coffee and lunch for them. "Ah, good, you're back. Can you grab my phone for me?"

JJ hurriedly set down her things and grabbed the still ringing phone off the front desk. "Sorry, ma'am." She only called her 'ma'am' when she wanted to bug her, knowing she hated the formality.

"Don't call me ma'am," Emily said, horrified, making Derek laugh harder.

JJ punched in the voicemail code and put it on speaker so that Emily could listen while she worked.

" _Emily, this is Sean – again. It's urgent that..."_

"Hang up!" Emily demanded.

"What?"

"Hang up!" Emily nearly shouted.

JJ's eyes were wide in shock, but she complied. The room was dead silent for a few moments, even the machines seeming hushed in the alarmed silence.

Emily's face reddened, blush spreading across her neck and chest. She ducked her head to focus determinedly on her work as she went back to her tattoo to avoid looking into anyone's curious and concerned eyes.

JJ and Derek shared a look over her hunched back, exchanging silent concerns. Derek shook his head, indicating he had no idea what either the phone call or her reaction were about.

Emily looked up and they both immediately looked away and returned to their work as well.

* * *

Emily curled her pale limbs around JJ's naked body, resting her chin on the blonde's shoulder, sending hot water lapping at JJ's slightly rounded belly.

"Boy or girl?" Emily asked, sweeping JJ's wet hair aside from her neck so she could kiss it.

"What?" JJ said with a giggle as Emily nuzzled her neck.

"Which one do you want?"

"A girl, I suppose," she admitted quietly, "But I'm sure it's a boy." She rubbed her belly fondly, a small smile eking out in spite of herself and her resolve not to get attached. "I can just tell."

"How?" Emily frowned and felt around her belly curiously, trying to feel what it was that made JJ so sure. The doctor's visit had gone well; they'd heard the baby's heartbeat (though she would never admit it, Emily's eyes had misted over at the sound), but it was too soon to tell the gender without a blood test.

"Mother's intuition, I guess." She shrugged. "Hey, that tickles!"

Emily laughed as JJ squirmed against her, scented water sloshing over the side of the tub as she continued to tickle her sides.

JJ grabbed her hands to stop the tickling, still laughing. She twisted around in her arms to kiss her. "Hey... Can I ask you something?" she asked warily, dotting a blob of bubbles onto Emily's nose.

"Sure." She dabbed bubbles onto JJ's chin, forming a ridiculous bubble beard.

"What was up with that phone call?" She attempted to keep her voice airy and light, afraid of Emily's reaction to her innocent concern.

Emily blanched visibly, but maintained an even voice, "It's nothing you should worry about."

"It sounded important," JJ persisted.

Emily tenderly stroked JJ's cheeks. "Do you trust me?" JJ nodded earnestly. "Then trust me when I say I don't want you to worry about this. It's just something I need to deal with."

JJ looked deeply into her eyes for a long moment, then nodded again.

"Good," Emily said as if that's all there was to it. As JJ settled back against her chest to resume their cuddling, she asked, "Have you ever thought about running your own shop?"

JJ choked a little on the notion. "Are you crazy? I'm not ready to even think about running my own shop, not yet. I'm not even sure I want that. Right now, I'm just focused on learning to tattoo better."

"Right, of course." She shook her head. "But one day?

"I don't know. Maybe. One day way in the future." Something about the conversation didn't sit right, souring the pit of her stomach.

"You could take over this shop," Emily said immediately, as if she'd planned it out. "You and Derek can run the shop together. I'll handle the business aspects until I can get you trained for that."

JJ felt her blood run cold. "Emily, what are you talking about?"

Emily laughed a little, brushing off her concern. "In the future. If I wanted to open a second shop." Then, softer, "I trust you; I don't trust many people, but I trust you with my livelihood."

"I'll think about it," she said slowly, trying to give her the answer she wanted. She'd only just started dealing with the idea of being a single mother to two children and now she was supposed to run an entire business?

"Of course," she said, laughing again. "Now..." she said, smiling friskily.

JJ blushed under Emily's lascivious gaze, squeaking when Emily's fingers landed on her thighs under the blanket of bubbles, all concern effectively vanquished from her mind.


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm JJ, I'm twenty weeks, almost twenty one," she introduced herself to the group of pregnant women assembled for the class. Most of them were more heavily pregnant than she was and she was already feeling awkward about being there without having to explain her connection to Emily too. "This is Emily, she's...moral support," she finished lamely, awkwardly.

"I'm her partner," Emily corrected, louder, braver. JJ looked at her, wide-eyed in fear of their reactions – DC might be a modern city, but there were still those with prejudices. Emily seemed to have no such compunctions, daring anyone to react with her glinting eyes and the hardened set of her jaw.

If anyone had anything to say about it, apparently they weren't about to say it to the woman with the face tattoo...

Introductions over with, the instructor started them out in Tailor's Pose to open their hips.

Emily groaned, hips tight, used to extended periods of sitting; JJ laughed, easily sinking her knees to the floor. "Is this really your idea of a fun date?" she asked.

As far as 'first dates' went, JJ considered prenatal yoga class to be one of the most bizarre she'd ever been on, though she appreciated the thought Emily had obviously put into it.

Emily let out a hiss of breath through her teeth as she arched one arm to the side in Seated Side Bend. "Not really, no," she admitted, "Actually, I've never taken a yoga class. But I know you like yoga and I figured it was good for the baby. Plus, we can get ice cream afterwards?"

"You're very sweet," JJ said with laughter at the expression on her face. "Ice cream sounds amazing," she added, making Emily's face light up.

They moved into Cat-Cow Pose, arching and rounding their backs in turn. "So, what are you going to name the little guy...or girl?" She was still holding out hope that it was a daughter, now that they'd reconsidered putting the baby up for adoption.

"I'm thinking Phoenix – it's good for either gender and it sounds really badass," JJ said. "Nicky for short."

"I like it!" Emily said enthusiastically. "Perfect for a future tattoo artist." She was only partly teasing – she knew JJ wanted her kids to be more successful, more respectable than her, but if Emily had her way, one of them would grow up to be an artist.

They moved into Downward Dog, then Dolphin Pose. JJ looked over at Emily and smiled; she looked about as far from mindful and at peace as it was possible to be as she awkwardly bent herself into the poses. Even if she wasn't great at yoga, she looked adorable trying her best. "What would you name it?" she asked.

Emily was silent for a long time as she folded into Child's Pose. "I've always loved the name Declan," she said wistfully.

JJ couldn't see her expression as both their faces were pressed up against their yoga mats, but she could hear the note of longing in her voice. "And for a girl?"

Emily felt her cheeks turned as red as her tank top and was suddenly glad her nose was pressed up against the floor so no one could see. "I don't want to say."

"Why not?" JJ persisted, more curious than ever.

"It's embarrassing," she mumbled.

"Oh, God," JJ groaned, "It's something like Xena, isn't it?"

"What, because I'm gay?" Emily scoffed, daring to look at JJ just so she could roll her eyes in her direction.

JJ just stared back at her, brow raised.

"Don't look at me like that!" Finally, she sighed, "It's Montana – as in Montana Wildhack from Slaughterhouse Five. I know she's a porn star, but still..."

"Oh my God," JJ crowed, "I knew there was a nerd inside that hardened goth exterior." She dissolved into laughter, making Emily scowl and reach across her yoga mat to punch her in the thigh.

After a long Savasana, the teacher dismissed the class and Emily was more than glad to be finished, certain the only pose she'd gotten right was the final Corpse Pose...playing dead, she could do. As she and JJ walked out into the chilly evening hand in hand, she admitted, "I actually had fun...even if I felt incredibly ungraceful."

"You weren't that bad," JJ assured. "Just a little awkward."

Emily secretly disagreed about the 'little' part, but said nothing. They slipped inside a little ice cream parlour down the street from the yoga studio. "Now it's my time to shine..." Emily said, laughing.

As they sat, eating their ice cream, JJ stared at Emily with a thoughtful expression, thinking about her odd behaviour the night before; she'd gone out to meet an 'old friend' and hadn't come back until the late hours of the night, at which time she'd seemed almost paranoid, locking and booby-trapping all the windows and doors. JJ hadn't asked her about it at the time. "Did you have a good time with your friend last night?"

Emily seemed startled by the question, as if she'd forgotten JJ was there at all. "Oh, yeah." She didn't elaborate further, suddenly intensely interested in her ice cream cone.

"Emily...what's going on with you?" she asked, softly, worry on the edge of her voice, masked by an attempt at curiosity.

"With _me_?" Her defense shields went up almost immediately.

"I've been watching you the last couple of days and something is obviously bothering you," she reached across the table to hold Emily's hand, only in that moment noticing the way her nails had recently been chewed down to nubs.

"Jayje," Emily said her name with tenderness and pleading in her eyes, "Because I like you, I'm going to ask you not to do this." She was almost begging, ice cream all but forgotten, a drip running down the side of her cone and onto her hand. "Please," she added as an afterthought.

JJ nodded, but choked on the words that wanted to be said as fear wrapped itself around her heart and squeezed.


	14. Chapter 14

JJ found Emily asleep upright with her head nodded, chin to chest. "Em," she whispered, not wanting to startle her, "Em, wake up." She shook her a little. Emily cracked her bleary eyes open to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Fine. I'm fine," she said, confused at being woken and not finding herself in her bed. She stretched her limbs awkwardly and twisted out the crick in her neck from the uncomfortable sleeping position.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, indicating the chair in the middle of the living room, positioned to face the door. "I didn't hear you get up in the night."

Emily just shook her head and yawned. She'd remained deeply unsettled and paranoid late into the night, tortured by thoughts of the past, roused wide awake by each small noise. Eventually, giving up on sleep and so as not to bother JJ who was fast asleep beside her, she'd given in to the paranoia.

"What happened to the furniture?" JJ asked with a wide sweeping gesture at the living room that appeared to have been ransacked by her nighttime machinations.

Emily shrugged and moved the large hallway table back to its original spot, one hand on the precariously perched vase.

JJ stared at her back as she tidied the living room, biting deeply into her lip as worry plagued her. Something was obviously deeply wrong and Emily appeared to have no intention of telling her what it was.

"Breakfast?" she suggested weakly, eliciting the first smile from Emily.

* * *

"Morning," Derek greeted as he entered the studio, dropping the mail on the front desk for JJ to sort through. It used to be his job, but now that they had a 'studio bitch', he gleefully delegated the job to her.

"Morning," JJ chirped back cheerily.

"Hnnggh," Emily groaned indistinctly as she shuffled to the coffee machine like a zombie.

"Looks like _someone_ had a good time last night," Derek said with a laugh and a wink as he snatched the coffee pot away from her before she could grab it.

"Bite me," Emily snapped, snatching the coffee pot back and promptly splashing coffee all over her hand. She let out a string of curses as she rinsed off the burn with cold water.

"What did you two do on your date?" he asked, still smiling conspiratorially, as if he knew _exactly_ what they'd done.

"Stuff. None of your business," Emily said, mopping up the spill with a scowl.

"We went to yoga," JJ said over the end of Emily's grouchy sentence as she pulled down the first aid kit to tend to Emily's burn.

Derek sat himself down behind the front desk with his coffee, looking disappointed by the answer. "Em, you've got a package," he said, tapping on the large beautifully wrapped box he'd brought in with the mail.

Emily frowned. "I wasn't expecting anything," she said, approaching to inspect the box. "It isn't even post-marked." She slid the ribbon warily off the box.

"Maybe you've got a secret admirer?" JJ suggested, smirking at first, then her face falling momentarily at the thought of someone else after her girlfriend.

"Maybe..." she replied slowly, frowning. A sour feeling burned in the pit of her stomach as she lifted the delicate tissue paper away to expose a dainty purple flower. Her heart plummeted and she felt her hands trembling.

With her shaking hand, she brought the flower up to her nose and inhaled the scent. Her eyes fluttered shut as memories flooded her brain. Her head slowly tilted back and she held the air in her lungs until it burned.

As she released the breath, her heart seized. The flower slipped from between her fingers and fell to the floor, petals bruising. She took several stuttering steps backwards, looking like she'd seen a ghost.

JJ was looking at her with concern. Her lips were moving, but Emily couldn't hear a word she was saying.

"I need to go..."

"But you just got here," JJ said, confused. "What about your clients? You're supposed to do a sleeve in twenty minutes."

"Take care of them. I trust you." She was already halfway up the stairs.

"Emily," JJ called after her. "Emily?" She paused to share a concerned look with Derek before following her up the stairs to find her in a flurry of activity through the apartment with a duffel bag in hand, tossing in clothes and other items.

"Emily, what's going on?" she asked, grabbing her by the upper arms to make her stop.

"Nothing," Emily said, a little too quickly, a little too loud. "There's just something I need to do." She pulled away and went into the bedroom, unearthing a safe hidden by a pile of clothes on the floor of the closet, and pulling out a gun.

"Emily," JJ said slowly, holding up her hands in placation, "Why do you have a gun?"

Emily didn't answer, she was too busy loading rounds into the chamber.

"Emily, you're scaring me..."

Emily stopped and leaned in to kiss her hard. "Promise me you won't worry." JJ whimpered against her lips. "Promise me. I can take care of myself. Nothing is going to happen to me. There's just something I need to do."

"Don't make me a promise you can't keep," she breathed, barely a whisper.

For a moment, Emily looked into her eyes and JJ saw there was only deadly calm there, none of the usual warmth and tenderness she saw whenever she looked at her. But only for a moment. Then Emily smiled and stroked her cheek like it was the last time she'd ever see her. The touch of her fingertips sent a chill through JJ's very being.

"Take care of Henry. Be safe," Emily said. "I love you."

It didn't strike JJ until much later that it was the first time she'd ever heard those words from her. But by that time, it very well could have been the last.


	15. Chapter 15

"I knew you were watching me," Emily said as a hand landed on her shoulder, startling her slightly, though she refused to let it show.

"What's the expression?" a deep voice asked from behind her before its owner moved into her view, taking the seat across from her. "Keep your friends close, your enemies under surveillance."

"I've been here two hours. You should know better than to keep a lady waiting." She sipped from the coffee that had long since gone cold, simply for something to do with her hands that wouldn't betray the nerves boiling in the pit of her stomach.

"Seems hypocritical, seeing as I had to wait seven years," he pointed out with a quirked brow. He eyed the second cup of coffee that she'd left waiting for him as if he suspected it might be poisoned, but eventually took a sip from it anyway.

"Hello, Ian."

"Hello, Lauren... Oh, wait, Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, didn't she?" His tone was conversational, but the words any were anything but.

"What do you want?" she asked, dispensing with niceties.

"You..." he said simply, watching her expression. "Oh, not today, don't worry about that. But soon."

"I've got a glock levelled at your crotch...what's to stop me from taking out you and the little ones right now?" Her eyes were filled with that deadly calm, deadly seriousness, as she cocked the gun hidden under the table.

"You'd never make it back to your car and you know it. Tell me...does the lovely Jennifer know the truth about you? Or is she too busy taking care of her little boy to care? She must be, what, almost twenty four weeks by now? Does she know what she's having yet or were you waiting to be surprised the way we did?" he asked, as if they were making pleasant conversation.

"Come near her and I will end you," she growled, suddenly filled with an icy fear over how much he knew, how long he'd been watching them.

"I don't have a quarrel with her. How long that remains the case, depends entirely on you. She's innocent, you're not."

"I had no choice..." she said breathlessly, refusing to let the fear show, even though it was choking her.

"Oh, I think you did. You took the only thing that mattered to me...so I'm going to take the only thing that matters to you: your life." He pressed a worn golden matchbook onto the table and stood. He recited a quote about providence, but she was barely listening, staring with unseeing eyes at the matchbook from the bar where it had all started. "Tell me, Emily Prentiss, which do you think you're going to be?" he asked, with a knowing smile quirking one side of his lips.

* * *

"Has she ever done this before? Just taken off?"

JJ was perched on a high stool watching Derek work, chewing nervously on her lip. He was helping her out with Emily's clients because Emily had yet to return from her disappearance and JJ's hands were unsteady with fear.

She hadn't returned any of JJ's numerous calls and texts and didn't appear to be in any hurry to return. She'd sent a locksmith over to change all the locks in the building and, despite JJ badgering him, he had no helpful information about Emily or her whereabouts.

"Not since I've met her," Derek said with a shrug.

That did nothing to ease JJ's worry. "Shouldn't we look for her? Report her missing? Something?"

"Emily's a big girl," Derek said ambiguously.

"But it's been three days – she could be dead for all we know," JJ insisted, getting frustrated by the lack of concern he showed.

"Look, Jay, you might not know this about Emily yet because she's good at hiding it, but she doesn't need our help. She's gotten involved with some rough people, people even I wouldn't want to mess with, and she got through it on her own. She can take care of herself, I promise."

JJ nibbled on her thumbnail – a bad habit she'd picked up from Emily – in thought.

"You're just going to have to trust that she knows what she's doing."

"I guess," she replied, but didn't seem convinced.

"Look, if you're that worried, why don't you try calling her?" he asked without looking up from his work.

"I have, like a million times!" she said, throwing up her hands.

"All her numbers?" When she remained quizzically silent, he dug his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to her. "Try her old numbers, you might be able to reach her on one of those."

"Why does she have so many numbers?" she asked, scrolling through his list of contacts for Emily.

"She's a bit paranoid sometimes," he said as if everyone changed their phone number so frequently. "But I would be too if I knew the people she did..."

"You're not helping me feel better about this," she said, getting off the stool with some difficulty around her burgeoning belly and dialling the first number.

At that moment, three men burst through the studio door, weapons drawn, startling her and Derek. Henry, who had been playing contentedly in his playpen burst into tears at the loud noise.

"Jesus Christ," Derek exclaimed, whipping his head around. Fortunately, he hadn't had needle to skin at that moment or he would have royally fucked up the guy's back piece.

"Where's Emily Prentiss?" asked a man with dark hair and an even darker scowl as he holstered his weapon.

"What's going on?" JJ asked, hands still in the air, shaking a little.

"Where is she?" repeated the man, pulling a badge from the pocket of his suit jacket, the other two men following suit.

One of the other men, much younger and considerably more approachable, said, "It's okay, we're FBI – Ms. Prentiss was supposed to check in with her Marshall yesterday, but failed to make contact. We have reason to believe she's in danger." When both JJ and Derek continued to stare at them with blank expressions, he said, "They don't know..."


	16. Chapter 16

"Don't know what?" JJ asked, lifting Henry from the playpen and rocking him soothingly. Her back twinged painfully as she straightened and she winced visibly.

The three men shared a look.

"Don't know what?" JJ repeated, demanding. She surprised herself with the authority in her voice.

"Emily Prentiss is in Witness Protection," the third man, this one with a British accent, said. "We have reason to believe she's in danger," he repeated.

"Witness Protection..." JJ echoed, more to herself than anyone else. Her heart plunged. She thought she'd known everything there was to know about Emily and now she had to wonder if any of it was real.

"That explains her behaviour the last month – the secrecy, the evasion..." Derek said, thinking aloud, "She's been biting her fingernails again too."

JJ wasn't listening, too busy reliving the past few months, seeing all the warning signs she'd missed, all the opportunities she'd had to help Emily, but hadn't taken. Guilt chased bile up her throat and her eyes burned with tears. Her back twinged again, but it was the least of her concerns at the moment.

"Do either of you know where she's gone?" the first man, Agent Hotchner, asked, his gaze intense and blazing, as if he thought they were trying to hide something.

"She's been missing for three days," JJ was quick to offer under his critical glare.

"And you didn't think to call someone?" he demanded.

The younger man, Dr. Reid, he introduced himself as, asked, "Did anything unusual happen three days ago?"

"She got a flower delivery," JJ replied, "There was no note or anything, but it must have spooked her badly because she immediately packed a bag and left...and she had a gun. I haven't heard from her since."

"It must have been from Doyle," Dr. Reid said to the others. "Can we look upstairs?"

JJ lead them upstairs to Emily's room, still exactly the way she'd left it that day; JJ hadn't been inside since the day she'd left. She showed them to the safe in the bottom of the closet and watched one of them pull out a packet of documents and passports and, finally, a long golden chain with a ring dangling from it.

"It's called a Gimmel ring," she heard the British man say, over the rushing of blood past her ears, "A husband and wife-to-be wear individual bands during the engagement and at the wedding..." He fit the rings together, letting the end of his sentence trail off.

She tuned them out then, tears threatening to overflow. Emily had been engaged? Why had she hidden that from her? And why, after all this time, had she kept the ring? She couldn't listen to any more, turning on her heel and returning downstairs before her life as she knew it unravelled any further.

"You really didn't know?" she asked Derek, setting herself heavily onto one of the beds. She kneaded her aching back as best she could. "Any of it?"

"Not a thing," Derek said, stripping off his gloves with an elastic snap. In light of the circumstances, he'd dismissed the client he'd been working on. "All I know is what she told me...and that isn't much." He leaned against the work bench and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What did she tell you? She told me that before this she was learning tattooing from an older boyfriend. She didn't say so, but she implied he treated her badly," JJ recalled.

"That's basically what she told me," he said, "But I didn't ask and she wasn't inclined to tell. I didn't want to share my past, so I never asked about hers. She's never really been the sharing type. I figured if she'd told anyone, it would have been you – you're the only relationship she's had since I've known her."

"Did she tell you she was _engaged_?" JJ asked, wincing again. She rubbed her belly.

"Engaged?" he repeated, incredulous, suddenly standing up straight.

"To whomever's after her... They said so upstairs. She still has the ring." Then, more to herself, "I wonder if he's the same one who got her pregnant."

" _What_?" he yelped.

"Shit. I probably shouldn't have told you that." She bit her lip, feeling guilty for betraying Emily's trust, but decided that now wasn't the time for worrying about secrets. "She said she was just a kid when it happened, so she decided not to have it."

"I'll find the bastard and kill him myself," Derek growled, taking several steps forward.

JJ chased after him, restraining him with two hands pressed into his chest before he went off half-cocked and did something stupid. "We don't even know where she is, let alone who's after her," she reminded, "There's nothing we can do."

Eventually, the hard line of his jaw slackened and he gave a conceding nod. "Try calling her," he said, "If anyone can get through to her right now, wherever she is, it's you."

* * *

"Hey, it's me," JJ's voice rang out, soft and sad, making Emily gasp sharply.

"Derek told me to try all your numbers and he had this as an old listing and you probably don't even use this anymore, but if it is you and you're out there...come home. Please." Her voice caught on a sob.

Emily's breath rattled around the lump in her throat. She blinked rapidly to keep the tears from spilling over.

"God, Emily, what did you think? That I would just let you walk out of my life? God, I'm so furious at you right now, but then I think about how scared you must be...in some dark place all alone. But you're not alone, okay? You are not alone, I am in that dark place with you, I'm waving a flashlight and calling your name, so if you can see me, come home. If you can't, then...then you stay alive."

* * *

Tears were running down her face as she hung up the phone. She suddenly doubled over, one hand clutched in Derek's shirt, the other clutching her belly. She moaned sharply and let out a strangled breath.

"Jay? Jayje?" His hand closed tightly on her shoulder, grounding her, despite the alarm in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's the baby... I think it's coming," she whispered, eyes wide in fear.


	17. Chapter 17

Derek approached quietly behind JJ. He didn't want to disturb the moment.

It was peaceful, almost, amidst the horror of the day...or it would have been, if he didn't know how dire the circumstances were.

At twenty four weeks, her newborn son was tiny, barely even a pound. Doctors estimated he had a sixty percent chance of surviving. From the waiting room, he'd heard her anguished scream as they told her he might not survive the night. He'd wanted to go to her then, knew that's what Emily would have wanted, but they wouldn't let him into the room with her, as he wasn't family.

He watched her in silence for a few moments, wishing he were anywhere else, was anyone else. He wished a lot of things, none of which he was going to get.

She had her hand inside the incubator, resting on the tiny baby's chest, slowly rising and falling with the aid of a respirator hooked up to his nostrils. He was hooked up to machines that were keeping him alive, doing all the things JJ's body should have been doing for him.

"Are you up for a visitor?" he murmured, disturbing the oppressive silence of the room.

"Come meet Phoenix," she said quietly, reverently, without looking up from her son's face. He looked like her already.

"Phoenix?" he asked with a little laugh, sitting down in the chair opposite her. "That's quite a handle."

"Emily loved it," she said, stroking the baby's cheek with one delicate finger. "She was hoping for a girl, but I know she'll love him anyway. He'll grow up to tattoo, if she has any say in it." There was so much love in her eyes, but also a very real fear.

"He's already the most badass kid in the NICU," Derek said, but his smile was half-hearted.

"Did you want to touch him?" she asked. Seeing the terrified expression on his face, she quickly reassured him, "It's good for him, it simulates the womb. You won't hurt him."

He looked down at his hand that could easily engulf the baby's entire body and shook his head, not trusting himself.

"I should call Emily, right? Let her know what happened..." she suggested when silence lapsed. "She'll want to come see him."

He suddenly remembered why he was there and wished again that he wasn't. Reluctantly, he said, "Jay..."

"She's going to be okay, right? She's going to come home?" she said as if she hadn't heard him.

"Jennifer..."

JJ looked up sharply at the use of her first name, the gravity of his tone.

"They found her."

"Where is she? Is she alright? Can I see her?" she asked, rapid fire, heart somewhere in her throat.

"She was badly hurt. They rushed her to the hospital, but..." He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"She's okay, right? She'll be okay?"

"She never made it off the table..." he whispered, unable to meet her eye.

"What..." she said breathlessly, "She's..."

"She's gone, Jay."

* * *

"How are you feeling today, Jennifer?"

"Good. Fine. I don't know." She tapped her foot nervously, feeling uncomfortable and awkward under his curious gaze. These appointments hadn't been her idea, but she knew she needed them anyway.

The therapist nodded, tapping his pen against his notepad. "And how is your son doing?"

"He's doing well. He's putting on weight. The doctors say his chances are getting better." She liked talking about Phoenix – it was the only part of the session she did like talking about. "No word yet on when he can come home, though."

"Have you brought Henry to see him?" He seemed genuinely curious, genuinely caring.

"He waved to Phoenix through the window and told me he 'loves brother'. He doesn't quite understand what's going on and why I'm away so much, though." She'd been struggling to juggle both boys in the last few weeks. She wanted to be at the NICU with Phoenix as much as possible, but Henry needed her too and she felt guilty leaving him with Derek so much while she was gone. They'd closed the tattoo parlour for the indefinite future, considering the circumstances, so he was free to help her, but she felt guilty nonetheless.

They were both silent for a moment and JJ dreaded what she knew he'd say next. It was the entire reason they'd scheduled an appointment today.

"They buried Emily yesterday..."

"I never got to see her, to say goodbye," JJ whispered, voice strangled by the tears clawing their way up her throat.

The therapist handed her a tissue. "Were there a lot of people there?"

JJ wadded up the tissue in her fist and shook her head. "Her own mother didn't even come."

"It upsets you, that she didn't show up?"

"Emily was _everything_ ," she said fiercely. "How could she just not come? For her own daughter?"

"Grief isn't something some people know how to manage. Perhaps it was too hard for her," he suggested.

JJ didn't seem satisfied with that answer.

"Did you bring Henry?"

She hadn't wanted to, hadn't wanted to expose him to death at such a young age, but he kept asking 'Where Emmy? Where Emmy?' and she hadn't been able to explain it to him in a way that he understood. "He didn't cry until the end, when they lowered her into the ground, then he screamed bloody murder," she said, "I had to hold him back from climbing into the hole with her. I told him it was just her body, but she wasn't there anymore, that she was an angel now. I hear him talking to her sometimes, after he's in bed."

He nodded. "That can be a very helpful way of healing. Have you tried talking to her too?"

She shook her head, gasping sharply, choking on her grief. "I never got to tell her she has a son. He'll never get to meet her. She loved him so much and he'll never know that..."

"Just because she's gone, doesn't mean she's forgotten," he pointed out.

She didn't bother to reply that she couldn't raise a family with a memory.


	18. Chapter 18

The first time Emily held her son in fifteen years, she watched the life fade out of the eyes of his father, the man she'd once loved...maybe a part of her loved even now, if she dared to look into the dark recesses of her heart.

He'd been too young to remember Ian when he'd been arrested and they'd gone into Witness Protection, really still just a baby, but something inside him must have known because he'd reached out his hand to hold Ian's as he'd died. He'd always known things he shouldn't.

"Was that my dad?" he'd asked Emily once he'd recovered from the shock, as they were driven back to the police station.

"He was," Emily whispered. "He was a bad man, but he loved you as best he could." Of that, she was sure. She held him tight to her chest, kissing the top of his head.

"Why did he leave if he loved us?" His voice was muffled against her chest, from inside her embrace.

She didn't have an answer for that. She just held him tighter, stroking his hair lovingly, heart still in her throat.

"Mom?" he whispered. "Do _you_ love me?"

The question nearly broke her. "Of course, Declan! Never ever doubt that!"

"Then why did you leave me?"

"To keep you safe," she said, choking on a sob. She was nearly begging him to understand. "But I thought about you every day. I wanted to give you the best life you could have, your best chance, and that wasn't with me. I wished every day that things were different, that I could have given you a real family, that I could have been the mother you deserved. I'm sorry..."

He nuzzled tighter into her. "But you're my mom..." he whispered.

She wasn't sure what he'd meant by that, but she nodded her agreement. "I'll always be your mom."

* * *

There was a long pause as Emily stood outside the doorway to the parlour, trying to work up the courage to walk through the door.

A lot could change in seven months... There was no telling if they'd want her back, if they'd be happy to see her, or if seven months of grieving was too much time to let her back into their hearts.

Derek had his feet up on the reception desk, too busy sketching to look up to see who was there. She always used to scold him for his lack of customer service and he always laughed it off and made some bawdy joke about servicing her.

Emily leaned over to rest her elbows on the counter, doing her best to put on an air of nonchalance when she was feeling anything but. "Do you do tribal tattoos here?" she asked. Derek hated tribal tattoos with a passion and often the mere mention of them sent him into a long rant about terrible fads and cultural appropriation.

"Tribal..." he scoffed, visibly rolling his eyes, preparing himself to go off. Then, he looked up and all the words fell out of his head. He stared, mouth gaping, fish-like, stunned to silence for possibly the first time in his life.

She smiled awkwardly, bracing herself for a reaction.

"Jay..." he said breathlessly.

"What?" she called from where she was working, sounding annoyed at being interrupted. She scooted her stool across the floor to see what he wanted when he failed to respond. She followed his stunned stare, her eyes landing on Emily, and she gasped. "You're alive?" she breathed, nearly choking on her inhale.

"Hi..." Emily said meekly, lifting her hands helplessly.

"Oh my God! Emily?" She seemed unable to believe that this was really her, that it was really happening. She flew across the room to wrap her arms around Emily, tight enough to squeeze the air from her lungs.

Emily let out a strangled breath, more from contained sobs than the tight hug as she returned the embrace, nuzzling her nose into JJ's hair. Her eyes fluttered shut and she thanked whatever god was listening that she had survived to have this.

"But we buried you..." Derek murmured, eyes wide in disbelief, struggling to process everything.

"I am so sorry, I really am and not a day went by that I didn't want to... Really, I..." she stammered. She didn't have the words to explain the situation and she doubted anyone could blame her for that. "You didn't deserve that and I'm so sorry," she said, disentangling herself from JJ's arms a little wistfully to wrap herself around Derek's unmoving form.

It was a long moment before he seemed to regain control over his body, slowly wrapping one arm, then the other around her back. He looked utterly and completely lost as he pulled back from the hug to properly examine her, as if it were the first time he'd ever seen her. "But how...? Why?"

"I'm afraid a lot of what happened is classified, so I can't tell you everything," she said apologetically. "What I can tell you is that I got into a fight with...someone. He stabbed me and I lost a lot of blood, but they were able to stabilize me in the operating room. I was then air-lifted to another hospital under covert exfiltration, my identity strictly need-to-know. I stayed there until I was well enough to travel, then I was assigned a three new identities in Europe."

"But we _buried_ you," Derek repeated.

"It wasn't my decision, I was in a medically induced coma when the agents in charge of my case made the decision to fake my death. Not even my own mother was told I was still alive, as it was the best way to keep me safe while _He_ was still on the loose."

"But you're back now?" JJ asked, eyes hopeful.

"I'm back. For good. And I know that it will probably take some time for you to understand, to make sense of what's happened. I wouldn't even blame you if you can never forgive me for what's happened, for what I've put you through... Just, please, understand that I was only trying to protect you."


	19. Chapter 19

Emily knocked lightly on the open door to the loft, alerting JJ to her presence, but careful not to disturb Henry's nap time.

It was the first time in seven months that Emily had been inside the loft that she had once called home. In that time, JJ had kept almost everything the way she'd left it. If it weren't for the toys Henry had left scattered about the small living room, it would be hard to tell anyone even lived there. It felt strange to come back to, this tableau of her life in the moment she'd left it behind, when she should be dead.

"There's something I need to tell you," Emily said quietly, sitting on the sofa opposite JJ. They hadn't had a chance to speak since their reunion, Emily too distracted, JJ too overjoyed, for either of them to have a proper conversation. She picked at her nails nervously, keeping her gaze trained on the floor. "I've been lying to you..."

"You mean, aside from the obvious?" It came out much more snide than she'd intended. She'd thought she'd had enough time to fully digest the news that she'd been lied to, that it had all been fake, but apparently she still felt some residual bitterness. She doubted whether anyone would blame her after what she'd been through.

"That wasn't my choice," she whispered, voice laden with guilt that would never fully go away. She looked up finally, eyes sad, begging forgiveness.

"I know," she replied, just as soft, just as hurt. She felt a small stab of guilt and looked away as the feeling took up residence in her throat, choking her. Her breath came in sharp gasps, betraying her cool exterior.

"I told you that I'd been pregnant, but that wasn't the whole story... When he – the one I was hiding from – found out I was pregnant, he wanted to be sure I'd have the baby, afraid I wouldn't want to have his child. So, he held me prisoner, chained to a bed for seven months until I gave birth. I had a son, Declan.

"When the police took his father away, they put Declan and I into Witness Protection. I loved Declan so much, but I knew that one day his father would find us again, so I made the decision to give him away and faked his death. It was the only way to keep him safe." Her voice hitched on a sob.

"Oh, Emily..." JJ murmured, starting to see the bigger picture. She wanted to go to her, hold her, but she was retreating into herself and JJ knew she couldn't reach her once that happened.

"That's why I came back – he found Declan. I had to protect him. Do what you want to me, but stay away from my son." Her eyes blazed with ferocity that frightened JJ a little.

JJ understood. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do to protect her sons. She just couldn't imagine what Emily had been through. "Is it safe now?"

"He's dead," Emily whispered and, for a split second, JJ thought she saw something akin to sadness in her eyes. Just as quickly, it was gone, replaced with vacant darkness.

"What about Declan? Is he coming to live with you now?" She didn't say _us_ because she wasn't sure where they stood, after all that had happened...if Emily would come back, if she wanted her back.

There was no mistaking the sadness now, one tear escaping her carefully collected facade to race down her cheek. She flicked her tongue out to lick her top lip. "He has a father who loves him, the only parent he's ever really known. He has a life now. I can't uproot him from that, no matter how much I might want to."

"But he's your _son_..." JJ couldn't imagine letting one of her boys go, no matter how much time had passed.

Emily nodded, but her eyes were vacant. "He hasn't been my son in a long time. I love him enough to let him go."

"He'll always be your son," JJ said. Then, the baby monitor crackled to life as the baby woke from his midday nap. JJ smiled; she'd been wishing she could have this moment for the last seven months. "Do you want to meet your new son?"

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "Even after what's happened, you still want..." She trailed off, unable to say it, to allow herself to hope there was still something left between them.

She nodded, her eyes twinkling, smile soft and tender. She left the room, returning with a carefully wrapped bundle of blankets in her arms. She cooed to the infant, "Come meet your Mama..."

Emily gasped as JJ set the baby in her arms and she looked upon the baby's delicate features, so reminiscent of JJ's face. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe. "Hello, there," she murmured, eyes filling with tears. "I'm going to love you so much..." She looked up to meet JJ's eyes, finding her also in tears, one hand clamped over her mouth to keep the sobs from erupting.

"This is Phoenix Emil Jareau," she said once she'd collected herself. "I named him after you...when I thought..."

She shook her head, looking like she wanted to say something, but unable to find the words. Eventually, she settled on, "He's beautiful." She seemed mesmerized by the tiny baby, unable to look away for very long. She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"He was born the day you..." She choked on the words, unable to relive that day without feeling something break inside her.

Emily's eyes flew open in horror. "But that's four months early! My God, JJ! I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you..." She reached out one hand towards her.

JJ's eyes were misty as she reached out to hold Emily's hand, clasping it tight, saying all the things she couldn't put to words. "You're here now."

"I'm here now," she repeated.


	20. Chapter 20

JJ knelt on top of Emily's prostrate form, knee on either side of her hips, as she kissed her. Emily squirmed under her with a decided lack of comfort, returning the kiss with a hint of hesitation. When JJ reached to take off Emily's bra, she yelped.

A lot of things had changed in the year since Emily had returned from the dead.

At almost three, Henry was an energetic little toddler. He would start preschool in the fall (and JJ was already weepy whenever subject of her little boy growing up came into the conversation). He was having a hard time understanding why Emily went away, but he seemed to roll with it the way only a toddler could; mostly he just seemed thrilled to have her back. Emily was teaching him how to draw, still hoping for her little artist – sometimes, for fun, she would airbrush temporary tattoos onto his skin and he loved showing off his 'toos', just like Mommy.

They'd recently celebrated Phoenix's first birthday; Emily had been a sobbing mess. He was hitting all the milestones for his corrected age, except making sounds – doctors said he'd likely need a hearing aide before his second birthday as he was almost completely deaf because of his premature birth. He was very good with baby signs, though, and both Emily and JJ were learning ASL in their spare time. Emily often felt guilty, like it was somehow her fault for causing JJ to go into early labour, and no amount of reassurance could convince her otherwise.

JJ had finished her apprenticeship, under Derek's supervision. Emily had wanted to finish mentoring her, but they'd all agreed that it was best that she focus her energy on recovering from her ordeal and getting resituated in her life. Derek was more than equipped to mentor her. She started taking on clients of her own – mostly cover up work, but she was more than capable to tackle any genre. Her Twitter and Instagram followings steadily increased and her name was starting to hold weight behind it, in tattooing circles. Garcia had already booked her a guest spot, as she'd promised when she'd first met her.

Emily struggled with her PTSD on a daily basis, but she went to counselling with JJ's encouragement. She started tattooing again, after several months of recovery, when her hands weren't so shaky and her flashbacks less intrusive. During her time in hiding, she'd studied the popular styles of European tattooing and when she returned, she reinvented her image and her style of tattooing. She decided to keep the name Emily, rather than going back to Lauren, when given the choice, as she'd built her brand on it. She started the process to legally adopt both Henry and Phoenix, so they could be the little family she'd always wanted and, when the time was right, she was planning on asking JJ to marry her. Declan visited once a month, but he was happy in his life and Emily refused to uproot him for her own selfish reasons.

In all that time, though, they hadn't been intimate. Kissing was fine, but any time it was heading to something more, Emily would dissolve into a panic attack. It had taken months before Emily was even comfortable taking her shirt off in front of JJ and letting her see the massive ugly scar marring her belly. JJ had been very understanding, never pushing for anything Emily wasn't comfortable with. They'd gone to counselling together and were working on the issue.

Tonight, Emily had felt confident in trying, though it was quickly becoming apparent that it was still too soon.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, guilt surging up inside her. She knew how badly JJ wanted this, how badly she wanted them to be together in that way again. Emily wanted to, she really did, but the thought of JJ seeing the scar, of knowing the truth of her and Ian terrified her.

JJ cocked her head to the side, eyes soft. With one trepidatious finger, she slowly traced the scar burned into Emily's breast. Emily sunk her teeth into her lip until she tasted blood, eyes shining with tears. "Don't..." she whispered, clasping a hand around JJ's and bringing it to her lips to kiss it.

JJ intertwined their fingers. There was no judgement in her eyes, no condemnation, not even disappointment. "I've been thinking," she said. "I want to do something for you...to help you heal." She climbed off the bed and pulled a sketch pad off the dresser. "Close your eyes." She flipped through the book. "Okay, now open them."

"What is it?" Emily asked, taking the pad into her hands with reverence. It was a beautiful drawing of a blackbird, poised for flight.

"I thought that maybe...if you wanted, I could cover up your scar?" she said in a rush. "I designed the piece to completely hide it and lead the eye away from it – even if you knew it was there, you wouldn't see it."

"C-cover it?" Emily stammered, looking up from the drawing with wide eyes.

"Only if you want," JJ whispered with a hopeful smile.

"But scar tissue is really hard to work with and it doesn't hold ink well and..." Emily rambled, listing all the reasons against it, in spite of the part of her leaping at the chance to be rid of the scar.

"I know all that. I learned – for you. Derek's been teaching me in secret so I could surprise you. But only if you want."

"You did all that for me?" Emily asked, eyes misting over again. JJ nodded. Emily gave a watery grin. "I'd love that. You don't know how much that means to me..."

JJ's eyes shone with tears in spite of herself. "I know how much your happiness means. I want you to feel whole again. I want every piece of you that you're willing to give to me."

Emily leaned up so that she could properly kiss her, thanking her the best way she knew how, unable to find all the words she wanted, needed to say.


	21. Epilogue

**AN: Because of a guest review wanting more, I've decided to add on an epilogue. It's pure cheese and fluff, it doesn't add anything to the plot, but it's cute anyway. Hope this answers your questions, Anonymous Reviewer!**

* * *

"This feels pretentious," JJ complained, gesturing widely with her paintbrush.

"Lots of famous painters did this," Emily countered, not looking up from her canvas so JJ couldn't see her rolling her eyes.

"Exactly," she said, "Pretentious."

The little family was seated along the banks of the Thames, painting the scenery before them. It had been Emily's idea. She wanted to expose the children to different kinds of art and expand their world beyond the walls of the tattoo parlour.

They'd moved to London the year following her return. They'd been considering buying a house, putting down roots, when Emily suggested the dramatic change of address. JJ, easily seeing that Emily was struggling to return to her old life, had readily agreed. She didn't care where they lived, so long as they were together. The two of them had opened a new parlour together – as equals this time, rather than master and apprentice – in the heart of London and were quickly becoming a local hot spot.

Emily looked up to give her a look like she was being ridiculous – a look she used all too often, now that Henry was five – causing JJ to burst out laughing. It was her turn to roll her eyes at Emily's 'mom face'.

"Let's take a trip," Emily said suddenly, apropos of nothing.

"What?" JJ asked, confused by the sudden change in subject.

"To Paris," she added.

"Why?" JJ marked her canvas with delicate brushstrokes, head quirked to the side, trying to capture the glint of the sun across the water.

"I think we could all use a little vacation before the baby comes." She bit down on the end of her paintbrush as she surveyed her painting. In her lap, Phoenix looked up at her and mirrored her actions.

JJ thoughtfully rubbed her rounded stomach. She was six months along with baby number three, but it looked like she could go into labour at any moment, given the size of her belly. She felt awkward and bulky and Emily took every opportunity to assure her that she'd never been more beautiful.

They'd both agreed that they wanted one more child – one that didn't come from a teenaged accident or a drunken mistake, but one created with love and intention. Derek had graciously agreed to be their sperm donor and, though Emily had very much wanted to carry a child, her injuries had made it impossible for that to ever happen, so JJ was once again carrying their baby.

"I _have_ always wanted to see Paris," JJ admitted.

Emily grinned smugly, knowing she'd won her over. She went back to her canvas with a thoughtful expression. Phoenix again followed her movements.

"Henry, come help me paint," JJ called to her son who had gone off to throw rocks into the river because painting was 'boring' (he'd recently learned the word and now everything was boring, according to him). He came sprinting up, already covered in paint, jeans soaked up to the knees, their golden retriever chasing after him. JJ pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he attacked the canvas with renewed intensity.

The dog, whom Emily had christened Kilgore, had been a recent addition to their family, a gift for JJ's birthday, but he'd quickly become Henry's faithful companion. He followed the boy everywhere, including sleeping at the foot of his bed every night.

"Do you want to go to Paris?" Emily signed to Phoenix.

Phoenix had been given a cochlear implant to help him hear, but they'd made the decision to continue teaching him sign language as well so he could communicate with the deaf community. They'd found a deafness support group in their community that used American Sign Language and attended every week so that the boy had peers he could relate to.

Phoenix signed back, "Go with Mama?" He was very much Emily's little guy – from the first moment she held him, he loved her with his whole heart, unable to love her more if she'd been the one who'd birthed him.

She'd officially adopted the boys the previous year and JJ had given her a ring featuring the boys' birthstones as a gift. The boys had done their part by helping bake a cake with the word 'Mommy!' in icing on the top.

"Yeah, Buddy, Mama would come too."

"Okay." He went back to painting, not yet understanding what he'd agreed to. Emily just laughed and tickled his sides, producing peals of giggles from the child.

"Me too?" Henry asked.

"Of course, you too, Picasso." He grinned widely at the nickname; he was the budding artist of the family. "Paris is where Picasso and Monet lived," she said. "And we'll learn all about them at the Louvre. Won't that be fun?"

Henry nodded eagerly and gave an exclamatory jab of brush on canvas.

"And what about Mommy?" JJ asked, smirking.

"French wine, French patisseries, French kissing..." Emily listed, smiling mischievously. She leaned over to kiss JJ.

"Gross!" Henry interrupted loudly.

Emily just laughed and went back to her work.

"Can I see your painting yet?" JJ asked, craning her neck to try to sneak a peek. Emily had forbidden her from looking at the canvas she and Phoenix were studiously working on.

"Okay, Nicky, show Mommy our painting," Emily told the toddler who gave a dramatic flourish in the direction of their easel.

Instead of the landscape JJ was expecting, it was a blur of colours (courtesy of Phoenix) and the words 'Will you marry me?' She gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth.

Emily pulled a jeweller's box out of her pocket and opened it to show off an antique opal ring. "I figured since we've done things rather unconventionally, you'd like an unconventional ring..." she explained, talking to cover up the nerves fluttering in her throat.

JJ gave a little half laugh, half sob, nodding. "Of course, I'll marry you!"

A brilliant smile split Emily's face. She slipped the ring onto JJ's waiting finger, then leaned in for another kiss.

"Stop it!" Henry wailed.

Emily pulled him to her, covering his face with kisses until he starting squealing with laughter.

"Me too! Me too!" Phoenix signed, not wanting to be left out. Both women pressed kisses to his cheeks until he too was giggling uncontrollably.


End file.
